Discipline, Accountability, and Resolutions

Accountability: anything or anyone that helps us gain mental leverage to achieve the results we desire.

—The Accountability Stop

At the beginning of a new year, resolutions make their annual appearance for a few weeks. Then they drop off one by one and people laughingly acknowledge that they couldn’t stick to it. I often overhear discussions about resolutions framed in terms of discipline. 

• “I don’t have the discipline to lose weight.”
• ”I never do the things I say I will. I’m not disciplined.”
• ”I couldn’t even begin writing my book. I just don’t have any discipline.”

Lean into the Pain

Western culture has a romanticized ideal of what discipline means. We think of discipline as an iron will to overcome obstacles and resistance to do the very hard thing that we want to achieve. We think discipline is hunkering down and punishing ourselves—because we believe no good thing is achieved without sacrifice and hard work.

While parts of that ideal are true, I think we can bring this over-harsh fantasy of discipline into a more palatable reality through accountability. That’s not to say that accountability is a substitute for discipline, but it is a partner in the overall process of achieving the things we want. We may define them as resolutions, goals, outcomes, or whatever.

To my way of thinking, discipline is a habit that we stick with. Sometimes it’s hard for us. Other times not. 

• A mother of three may go out for a run every day.
• A student plays piano constantly and spends hours learning new pieces. 
• A weightlifter visits the gym five times a week.
• A retiree is religious about making low-fat meals for herself and her husband.

We say these things take discipline. We probably say that because we have a high resistance to these activities. They sound hard to us. But if we enjoy the activity itself, how much discipline does it take? Does it require discipline to binge all six seasons of a streaming television series? For many people, that doesn’t feel like discipline at all.

Accountability in the Wings

In addition, what may look like brute-force discipline from the outside, may have an accountability component built in that we don’t see.

• The runner mom might have a fitness app that’s fun to use and helps keep her motivated.
• I rehearsed lots of piano music when I was younger to play for my family during the holidays. I had a built-in deadline.
• A weightlifter sees his buddies at the gym. They are de facto accountability buddies, even though he doesn’t call them that. 
• The retiree cook may be part of an online community sharing recipes and cooking tips. It makes it easy for her to keep up her habit.

Many times someone we say is disciplined is using one or more accountability techniques. The disciplined person may not even realize it. Introverted techniques like a recurring appointment, journaling, or a phone app might hardly seem like accountability. On the other hand, extroverted techniques like buddies, classes, or online accountability might feel like natural socializing. 

Personally, I think the brute force kind of discipline we imagine is relatively rare. It’s incredibly difficult to create something entirely by and for ourselves. We shouldn’t be discouraged by tales of super-human discipline winning the day. If we peel back the facade of the results, (the mega-hit Rent by Jonathan Larson, for example) we will often find a story of a lot of resistance overcome through accountability.

What’s Your Account?

How do you view discipline in your life? Are there ways that accountability can help you reach your goals, instead of relying on an unrealistic view of discipline?