Getting Our Sh*t Together with Accountability

Accountability: anything or anyone that helps us gain mental leverage to achieve the results we desire.

—The Accountability Stop

I watched a YouTube video today by Kenny Bender* about getting our sh*t together. I thought I’d compare-and-contrast with my thoughts on accountability.

Distractable

In his video, Mr. Bender blames distractions (deservedly) for people not having our sh*t together. Big Tech and Corporate America thrive on monopolizing our attention. Plenty of modern luxury and convenience are part of the deal, but we don’t just pay for these things with our money. We pay for them with our time. We turn off our minds and watch the content and ads for luxuries and conveniences. As I’m writing, it happens to be Super Bowl Sunday, a high holy day of consumerism and willfully distracting ourselves from the things we want to do with our lives.

I agree, and distractions are one of the main reasons we need accountability in our lives. In a previous article I talked about some methods to stay focused and avoid distractions. Focused work time and achieving a flow state are important tools to empower us to achieve the results we desire.

You 2.0

Mr. Bender reports from his research into human behavior that to get our sh*t together, we need to shift our identity and become a “higher version” of ourselves. I agree. Our identity—how we view ourselves—is the sum-total of our values, beliefs, and attitudes. We make all our decisions in alignment with our identity. We can act OUT of alignment with our identity temporarily through conscious will-power, but we are very likely to fall back into old habits.

Shifting identity is a big task. However, I think accountability is an excellent, subtle tool to help. When we use accountability techniques, we start to build new habits, new mental pathways, and new ways of thinking about ourselves. 

• When we make and keep a writing deadline for ourselves, when we track our daily word count, or when we use a phone app to give us writing prompts, we start small new habits to see ourselves as a writer. 

• When we find an accountability buddy at the gym, join a fitness class, or take on a new job at the local YMCA, other people see us as someone who lives an active and fit lifestyle. This helps us see ourselves as an active and fit person.   

Have a Clear Target

Mr. Bender notes the importance of having goals that are aligned with our identity. These goals have a clear “why” behind them. I have said previously that I’ve taken for granted that anyone looking to improve their accountability has a clear goal in mind. We’ve also discussed how having a “why” doesn’t necessarily guarantee we’ll stay on course.

In terms of getting our sh*t together, yes, we should have clear goals with clear reasons for them. Once we do, we should put accountability techniques in place to help us stick to these goals.

I Died a Little

Mr. Bender notes that in order to become a higher version of ourselves, the previous version of us must die. We can’t be that person any more. He says that our clear goals and reasons are our weapons to “kill” our current selves. He importantly notes that the current self uses resistance as a weapon. Here Mr. Bender and I are in complete alignment: we’ve talked previously how powerful Resistance is. To kill Resistance, we must employ every tool we have—inner work, identity shifting, accountability techniques, and the kitchen sink if necessary. 

In my view, Mr. Bender’s advice on how we get our sh*t together is useful and aligns well with my experience. Personally, I appreciated some of his reminders regarding identity. I would encourage anyone aiming to get their sh*t together to also employ accountability techniques for additional mental leverage. 

What’s Your Account?

To what degree do you think accountability plays into getting our sh*t together?

*I have not seen other Kenny Bender videos or content. It’s easy to think that an internet influencer (he doesn’t list a degree) is preying on the weak-minded and creating exactly the technology distraction he recommends avoiding. For the purposes of this discussion, I assume that Mr. Bender acts out of a sincere desire to help people to improve and has relied on legitimate behavioral studies.